If you are currently in the process of planning your wedding, you know how much pressure and anxiety can come with planning your special day. Your bridesmaids (and a great wedding planner) can help ensure that everything goes smoothly. They will not only help you make arrangements during your engagment, but will also provide you with much needed moral support on your wedding day by getting ready with you, preceeding you down the aisle and standing by your side as you say your vows.
Did you know that it is believed that bridesmaids originate from old English folklore that states that a bride would surround herself with friends, dressed in identical outfits, to confuse evil spirits that might want to curse her happiness. While bridesmaids are no longer chosen for protection, your will play an important role on your big day. This means that you should choose them carefully.
Traditionally, the bride selects the sister nearest to her in age as her maid (or matron) of honor. Another sister, relative, or best friend is an equally acceptable choice. Recently some brides have even asked a male friend or relative to serve in this role as her man of honor or honor attendant. It's also acceptable to have have more than one maid of honor if you can't choose between two sisters or close friends. If your groom has sisters, it is not required, but it definitely makes for good family mojo (for lack of a better word) to invite at least one of them to be a bridesmaid.
The amount of attendants you choose is up to you. This will mainly depend on the size of your circle of friends, the size of your family, and the tone of your wedding. If you are planning a small, information wedding you may choose to ontly have a maid of honor while a large formal affair could have many more. Typically brides have four to six bridesmaids.
When choosing your attendants, you should consider how many attendants your groom will have and whether you want them to be evenly matched. If you decide to have uneven numbers, you can have ushers escort some of the bridesmaids or even let the ladies walk down the aisle together or single file.
If you have older girls in your family that are too old to be flower girls or too young to be a bridesmaid, but you would like to include them in your wedding consider making them junior bridesmaids. These ladies are generally between the ages of 8 to 14. Their only responsibility is to walk-in the processional.
I think the big question is, what are the responsibilities of your bridesmaid? A lot of this depends on you and what you want them to help you with. Do you want them to simply show up and walk down the aisle or do you want them to assist you every step of the way?
In the months leading up to your ceremony, the maid of honor should typically accompany you when you shop for your wedding gown and bridesmaids' dresses. She may also plan and organize the bridal shower and/or bachelorette party. On your wedding day, she help keep the other bridesmaids on schedule and help you change into your gown.
Your bridesmaids may help shop for bridesmaids' dresses and co-host the bridal shower or bachelorette party. They may also help you put together favors or other DIY projects.
Be clear about which duties you expect your bridesmaids to perform when you asking them to get involved. This helps avoid any issues in your wedding plans, as wel as the awkwardness that could result from a bad experience. To give your potential bridesmaids plenty of time to prepare, try to contact them shortly after you announce your engagement.
You should try to extend the invitation in person, but if they live far away and this isn't possible, a phone call or a letter is acceptable. Generally email invitations, even when carefully worded, tend to be informal and impersonal. Many brides are even coming up with fun and creative ways to ask their bridesmaids. No matter how you choose to ask your attendants, make sure to provide them all with each other's contact information so that they can reach each other if they need to.
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